Bye Bye Beard
by BringMeGiants
Summary: Why Grissom, WHY?


**The beard is gone and life will never be the same...why Grissom, WHY?**

**My undying gratitude to sweet-surrender5 - the idea was her's and so were the inspirations for anything in here that might be construed as even remotely funny. Agent 008 - you ROCK!**

**_They don't belong me - or the beard would've damned well stayed where it was!_**

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**Bye Bye Beard…**

_You're doing what!_

I'm shaving the beard. Correction. I'm about to shave the beard…

_W…w…w…why?_

Because.

_Oh, well – since you have such a compelling reason, go for it then._

I would, but I can't find the damn razor.

_Well, after three years, I can't say I'm all that surprised._

Or the shaving foam. I'm sure I saw an old, unopened can here somewhere…

_Look under the sink._

I did.

_In the closet?_

Yes.

_On the—?_

For crying out loud! There are only so many places in a bathroom where a razor and can of shaving cream can possibly be, so if it's here, I'm sure I'll find it, thank you very much.

_Well, excuse me. My most humble apologies. I'll just shut up then._

You do that.

_Fine._

Fine.

_Just one quick question though…_

I knew you wouldn't be able to shut up for more than five seconds.

_There's no need to be such an ass. I'm just trying to hel— ooh! There's the razor! _

So you can be of use after all. Who knew?

_Oh bite me._

Now if only you can find the shaving cream, then we can get this party started.

_All of which conveniently brings me back to my question._

Which was?

_Why the hell don't you just go the barber? I'm sure that guy on the corner who's been trimming the beard all these years, will just as happily shave it off._

Maybe. But he doesn't open until nine and I want this done and dusted before Sara wakes up. So stop asking stupid questions and help me look for the damn shaving cream.

_It's right next to the razor, you idiot._

Ah. So it is.

_Can you even remember how to do this?_

Gee, I don't know. Since shaving is such a difficult skill to master…

_I'm just concerned, that's all. Wouldn't want your hand to slip as you're scraping away over your jugular vein… this can be a dangerous business, you know…_

I'm sure I'll manage.

_So. Why exactly are we doing this? I thought we liked the beard. I thought it made us look…distinguished._

We did. It does. But I guess it's time for a change.

_A change is as good as a holiday they say, but why now?_

Why not? I mean think about it. Six years ago we were beardless, right? Now cast your mind back. What was the life of Gil Grissom like back then?

_Um…well, you were six years younger, for one thing…_

What an astute observation.

_And…you wore nicer clothes…tighter T-shirts, better fitting pants…no fugly farmer's hat…_

Oh good grief. Just forget it. If you're not going to take this seriously—

_Sorry, sorry, sorry. Let me think. Six years ago…well - you were…happier I guess. Yes, that's it – life seemed to be a lot more fun back then. Tossing dummies of roofs, electrocuting pickles, playing with…uh…I mean…studying…dead pigs._

Flirting with Sara…

_Mmmm – yes. The flirting certainly was fun…_

And then I started to realise that there was a lot more to being a supervisor than just handing out assignment slips every evening. Dealing with Warrick's gambling addiction, Nick taking issue with me not trusting him enough to do difficult cases alone, Catherine and Eddie…

_Shit, that Eddie was a jerk…_

Don't speak ill of the dead. But yes he was…

_Ecklie…_

Oh brother.

_And then the whole Otosclerosis thing started to kick in… hard to flirt with pretty brunettes when you can't hear what the hell their saying…_

Tell me about it. Plus I started to realise that I had nothing to offer her – that I could be nothing more to her than her aging, soon-to-be-deaf-as-a-post boss, and that pursuing anything but a strictly professional relationship would be nothing but all kinds of wrong.

_You were such an ass._

Yes well – never mind that now. Suffice it to say that life got a lot less fun after that.

_True. But how exactly does this relate to the beard?_

I guess I kind of got to a point where I figured that serious Grissom needed a serious look. That if I _looked _the part of nightshift supervisor, I would somehow find it easier to _behave_ like one.

_Huh. And here I thought all these years that you were just trying to hide your newly acquired double chin…_

I do not have double chin!

_Not anymore. Which is probably thanks to all the extra exercise you now enjoy…with the help of a certain someone…Nothing like a bit of bedroom gymnastics to--_

You really have a one track mind, you know that?

_Well, someone around here has to keep their eye on the ball…_

Quite. Anyway…like I said – serious Grissom needed serious facial hair. And I like to think that it did appeal to a certain slice of the female demographic.

_It sure did…_

But now we finally have Sara, so there's absolutely no more need to take the considerations of the general female population into account. And as you so helpfully pointed out, the worst of the double chin seems to be gone, so…

_So does this mean a return to happy "I-toss-dummies-of-the-roof-and-electrocute-pickles-and-actually-smile-and-look-like-I-enjoy-myself-once-in-a-while" Grissom?_

I certainly hope so. I mean - follow the evidence. Beardless Grissom equals happy, flirty Grissom. Bearded Grissom equals serious, I-carry-the-weight-of-the-world-on-my-shoulders Grissom. So I guess the indications are promising.

_We can but hope. You think the beard will ever return? Cause it really did add a certain something to the old sex appeal you know…_

Well three years without the beard, then three years with the beard. So I guess you should ask me again in about 36 month's time. Besides, we have other things to consider besides sex appeal these days, you know…

_Things like?_

Thinks like Sara. And…the beard's unfortunate effect on…uh…delicate bits of skin…

_What the hell are you talking about?_

Beard rash.

_Oh! So the reasons for the beard getting the chop, actually has nothing to do with happy Grissom/sad Grissom; but everything to do with…_

Uh…yes.

_And to think you had the gall to chew me out for having a one track mind…_

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**A/N **

**Bye bye Grissom's Beard.****You were a good and faithful friend, always there in my times of need and boredom. There during the CSI episodes when I forgot all about the plot because I was staring at you so much, there to fill my mind with joy and happiness during my three hour commute to work every day, there to distract me in long, boring meetings at work.**

**There to lull me to sleep at night as I lay in bed wondering what you would feel like…sigh.**

**And now you're gone, and all that is left in your place is smooth, baby faced skin. Perhaps a little older than it was than when we last we saw it, but still undeniably handsome. At least now we get to watch the scar on his neck again and the cleft in his chin, so I guess that's some consolation. And that little hint of a dimple on the odd occasion when he smiles.**

**And - I suppose, now we go back to wondering what his cheek would feel like if we were to wipe some "chalk" off it.**

**But still Grissom's Beard - you will be missed.**

**Thanks for all the memories...**


End file.
